Defining Reality
by Starlit Purple
Summary: Cassie tries to work out reality from nightmares. Cassie/Ashley


Notes/Warnings: **One of the characters is dealing with the effects of mind rape, please be avoiding this story if this is a squick for you.** This was written for Phantom Rosabelle for Alpha's Magical Fic Exchange 2011. Love to Tsukino_Akume for the beta, and Daylight, whose video inspired me to churn this out.

So uh, hi! It's been a while yeah? I've been in a writing rut for a while and this is the first thing I've written in months! But this got me all excited about writing again, so hopefully there will be more from me soon. (Possibly the last couple chapters of BtM if I can manage to get it out of my head and typed up!)

Defining Reality  
>by Starlit Purple<p>

The first thing she was aware of was that she wasn't on a cold floor. The second was the warmth against her side. The third was that the air smelled clean, not the damp, moldy smell she'd been forced to breathe the past...two weeks? Three? She wasn't even sure how long it'd been now.

The brightness behind her eyelids was almost enough to make her believe that it was all true. That she'd been rescued and that she really was home, safe on the Megaship. But it wasn't, she knew. It was all a dream, just like all the others. As soon as she opened her eyes, everything would go away: the clean air, the soft bed, the warmth at her side... They'd all be replaced by darkness and the sharp, piercing cold that she'd been accustomed to.

She could swear that was the hum of a door opening and footsteps wandering softly around the room, accompanied by quiet whispers of her friends. She wanted to open her eyes, to call out to them, to know that she was really safe, that she was finally home. But she couldn't. This wasn't real. It'd be like all the other times she'd opened her eyes, sure she was with her friends at last, only to find that it was just another fake memory they'd implanted to toy with her.

More footsteps.

_"How is she?"_

A short pause.

_"According to this she should be awake, but..."_

_"How long has Ash been here?"_

_"All night. I tried to get her to go to bed, but she wanted to stay."_

A sigh.

The lump at her side moved slightly, and then there was pressure against her hip. It wasn't intentional, she knew, but the pain was unexpected and she inhaled sharply at the suddenness of it. Her fake implanted memories were never painful in that sort of way. Everything was always perfect and normal—or the old "normal" anyway—before her friends turned on her or tormented her or helped enemies torture her. It was never accidental. And she did have a nasty bruise on her side from her struggle the day before...

"Cass?"

Ashley's voice. It was full of hope and surprise and worry. She could feel a hand on her shoulder from the other side and wondered if it was her or one of the guys.

"Cassie?" Softer this time, and closer. Fingers brushed her forehead and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "It's okay, they can't hurt you anymore. You're on the Megaship."

Cassie's heart sunk. She'd heard those words in some form more times than she knew, and every time she was sure that this time it really would be true...but it never was. If things were going to go wrong, it was about to happen. ...She wasn't going to get her hopes up this time.

There was a light squeeze from the hand that still rested on her shoulder. "Open your eyes? Please, for me?"

She couldn't refuse a plea like that from Ashley. She was always Cassie's weakness in every scenario. She knew it, and she knew they knew it, but there was always that slight chance that maybe, just maybe...

Bracing herself for the worst, she slowly opened her eyes.

The imagined bed didn't turn into a hard floor; the air didn't turn icy and damp; her friends and the Megaship didn't fade away into the dark cell she'd known for weeks. The light that was behind her eyelids was still there, dimmer than she remembered, but still brighter than anything she'd been accustomed to lately.

Squinting, her eyes swept the room taking in each of her friends' faces before coming to rest on Ashley's. She could see faint lines on her cheeks where tears had fallen untouched, and her eyes were welled up with fresh ones. She smiled brightly and a tear slipped free as her eyes locked with Cassie's. Her breath shuttered. "You recognize us."

"I—what?" Her words came out rough and raspy, and she coughed. Fire lit across her already achy chest and she moaned with the intensity of it. A straw was pressed to her lips and she sipped, only then realizing just how dry her throat was. She just caught the end of what Ashley was saying as she drank.

"—and DECA thought it might have had permanent damage."

She looked at her for a second, trying to decipher what Ashley was saying. She wanted to ask, but just settled on a carefully hummed "hmm?" instead. She caught a flash of fear and worry in her eyes, but Ashley calmly repeated herself.

"They did things to your mind, messed with your memories. DECA said you were likely reliving old memories with a horrible new twist to each one, or maybe even new ones, fabricated from the memories you had. We thought..." She sniffled and looked away, brushing at a tear absentmindedly. "We didn't know if you'd still be our Cassie, or if you'd remember us at all..."

Cassie followed her gaze to TJ, all the hope in the world and a calming support in his demeanor that Ashley needed right now. Andros stood beside him, not quite meeting her eye. Zhane sat on a stool near the door—the furthest away, yet still lending his silent support. Carlos stood by Ashley, hand on her shoulder, worried eyes bouncing between the two girls.

She took another sip of the water before trying to speak again.

"This is real?"

It wasn't what she had intended to say. Her voice was still a bit scratchy, but she could talk without coughing, at least.

Ashley nodded. She was looking at her again. "It's all real."

"We picked up the ship's trail a few days ago," TJ explained. "It took us a while to catch up, but once we did, we mounted a rescue mission and got you safely out of there."

"We hope," Andros whispered. TJ shot him a glare, but Cassie'd caught his gaze just before he looked away. It was full of guilt and sadness. He was blaming himself for everything that had happened to her.

"I remember you." Eyes still on Andros, she saw him visibly relax a little, though the guilt was still present. "I'm still...well I _think_ I'm still me." She sighed. "Why don't I remember you coming for me? How long have I been here?"

"You were in a..." Ashley frowned. "It's sort of like a coma-like state?" She looked at Carlos, who nodded.

"It's a side-effect of the memory scramble machine thing," he added. "That's why we weren't sure you'd be alright, we didn't know what kind of effect it would have on you if we took you away from the ship prematurely."

Ashley nodded and continued. "We tried, but we couldn't wake you."

"We couldn't wait," Andros put in softly. "Zhane and TJ had destroyed the machine and they were already onto us. We had to get out while we could or the whole mission could have failed."

Cassie nodded. This was starting to sound like it could really all be true this time. Trying to work it all out hurt her head and she slowly lifted her hand to rub her forehead and temple as she squeezed her eyes closed. "Why is it so hard to think?" she mumbled.

"Thoughts and memories are delicate," came DECA's calm voice in explanation. "If tampered with too much, they could remain warped or be forgotten altogether. It will take time for you to be able to differentiate between what is real and not."

She could feel Ashley scooting closer against her side once more, minding her bruises this time. She leaned forward, hair brushing over Cassie's cheek, pulled her hand away and softly kissed where Cassie was rubbing. "But we'll be here to help you figure it out."

"Promise?"

"Promise." She could hear the amusement in Ashley's voice. "Now get some sleep, we have lots of memories to catch you up on tomorrow." She felt her lean closer, her breath warm on her ear as she added, "And new ones to make."

The soft kiss on her cheek and the sounds of the others quietly shuffling out, while Ashley pulled the blankets over them both and curled up at her side was enough to convince her that it must really be real this time. Her nightmare was over, and she was finally home safe where she belonged, in her love's arms.

And for the first time in weeks, she had a nice, peaceful night's sleep.


End file.
